Michael Feiner recalls how one of his key employees insisted that he couldn’t attend a crucial meeting because he had to take his kids trick-or-treating. He also remembers the way one of his own bosses pressured him to give up Monday night softball games — not because the games interfered with getting his work done, but because the boss thought it looked bad for him to leave the office at 6 p.m. on Mondays.

When the boss kept pushing, even though it was obvious how important the softball was to him, Feiner gave the kind of eloquent reply that many workers would like to offer when faced with an unreasonable, insensitive supervisor. Two little words, with enough volume to make a hand gesture superfluous.

Feiner offers the details of both tales in “The Feiner Points of Leadership: The 50 Basic Laws That Will Make People Want to Perform Better for You” (Warner Business Books). A consultant, management professor at Columbia Graduate School of Business and former chief people officer at Pepsi-Cola, Feiner uses the anecdotes to demonstrate how loyalty can help both managers and employees thrive.

The softball tale came first, and Feiner fully expected that those two little words with seven little letters would get him fired for his outburst. But the boss never even mentioned the subject again, and Feiner continued to work long hours on other days and make sure his supervisor knew he was loyal — despite the one outburst.

As their careers went on, both worked to ensure each other’s success. The manager even supported Feiner’s efforts to get a promotion.

As for the Halloween tale, Feiner wound up with a loyal, hard-working employee who stayed with him another 11 years.

“People cut you a lot of slack if you really give a darn about them,” the author said in a recent San Francisco interview. “People associate leadership with oratory or charisma, but that’s not what leadership is all about.”

Successful bosses frequently lead by listening instead of just ordering people around, Feiner explained. When his hard-working employee asked to miss the Halloween meeting and made it clear that he had a commitment to his children that was very important to him, Feiner spent hours with him getting briefed so that he could fill in.

The employee had been due to make a key presentation, but Feiner gave it instead. Although he thought the request was out of line, he understood how crucial it was to the employee’s values. His gesture made it clear that the employee was important to him as a human being.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, Feiner also recalls how one of his bosses insisted on opening his mail during the time when Feiner was asking important questions. “I felt like a pencil sharpener,” Feiner said. “I felt like an inanimate object.”

If you’re one of the underlings, the best way to succeed is to make it clear that you are committed to the success of the boss and the company, Feiner said. Loyal, hard-working employees will often get the benefit of the doubt, as they did in both anecdotes, even if the boss doesn’t share their values.

“You are 100 percent responsible for your relationship with your boss,” he said. “Too often, people get stuck at ‘I’m a victim.’”

Feiner certainly understands there are incompetent and inconsiderate bosses, but says employees can often find ways to work with them if the workers come across as obviously loyal and make sure they understand what the boss’ goals are.

After a month or so under a boss, Feiner suggests asking what the boss’ goals are, and what is expected from a good employee. Then ask, “Are there things I’m doing or not doing that get in the way of that?”

That doesn’t mean you need to avoid conflict at all costs. Feiner said employees need to give managers candid feedback, but also explain why your suggestion is in the boss’ best interest.

“When you push back at a boss, he or she needs to understand that you’re doing it out of loyalty.”